2 cars got wrecked, everything and anything that could possibly fall, did, someone died, and my car is dead.
greatttttttttttttt weekend im about to have with no car, 10 cigarettes, a few rillos with no bud, and NOOOOOO place to smoke unless i tell my parents that i do.
& unless he wants to drive over here im probably not seeing him this weekend. which sucks
just let everything flow out of me so i can actually get some rest but fuck man. i feel so fucking ridiculous right now. i want a relationship but at the same time i dont. i want him but he doesnt really feel the same way because he doesnt want to be another dustin and i know that and whos to say that he wont because im the one who is screwed up and can never let anything out. im too worried about what other people think about me and care too much about hurting other people that i just become selfless and let people take advantage, wtf is up with that. and i can tell myuself it will never happen again but guarenteed ill screew up somewhere like i did with this whole tyler situation. i want everything to go away so i can start from scratch but i feel like im pushing the issue so tomorrow i think ill totally “forget” about my phone and just see how things play out cause i cant imagine how someone can like a little bitch like me. i bitch about fucking everything that doesnt even matter. god im such a girl. shit is annoying. so i was talking to duwstin earlier and i realized that i got screwed over with alex, well duh, but he told me that time will only tell, and even though we were talking abouti my job i can relate it to what is happening with me and my babe. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. that just needed to come out. and idk what to do. i have standing still and not making a move but i dont want to be aggressive either, i feel like it should be now or never. im not a very patient person when it comes to shit like this but what is there to lose really. its when you start becoming attached to someone when you should be scared. damn. am i really attached or am i just throwing a hissy because i dont want to be alone. fuck man., i need some gange! smoke everything away but then ill never \face the situation but being sober is fucking killing me right now. i always try to help other people find themselves and now that its my turn its like wtf….. i cant……… its impossible. fuck my life. thats all i have to say now im just confusing myself even more. my head is spinning in fucking circles
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The way we just chill & he likes it.
In honor of Sublime, I smoked six joints today.
I smoke two joints in the morning,
I smoke two joints at night,
I smoke two joints in the afternoon,
it makes me feel alright.
In honor of us, we should smoke together. I miss you rose!
